How To Choose Optimism As Your Go-To Response
I was eating dinner while awaiting my flight at the Philadelphia Airport and a sign unexpectedly caught my attention. It read,
“It will get brighter…OPTIMISM, pass it on!”
At that moment I wasn’t feeling extremely optimistic. But the sign reminded me of issues several of my coaching clients are facing...
The need to build new competencies related to leader presence and relationships. Yet, at the same time, they’re dealing with their own innate cynicism and cautious nature.
Which is kind of like trying to drive with your foot on the brake and the accelerator at the same time.
That optimism sign is completely relevant to my immediate situation too. And, it helped remind me that I could choose my response any time I feel challenged.
Let me explain.
A Not So Optimistic Airport Scenario
Due to a late takeoff from the originating city and a terminal change for the connecting flight, we were late to Philadelphia. Ultimately, I missed my connection.
I was just told that I most likely wasn’t getting home that night and would need to stay in the airport hotel.
I was cranky, and in disbelief that the airline refused to pay for the overnight stay.
It had been a long week of travel, and all I wanted was to be home with my husband and my puppies in our own bed.
The delay in getting home also meant I had to reschedule an important meeting the next morning.
Seeing the reminder about optimism as I was eating my airport dinner, caused me to stop for a moment and reflect on lessons from past careers.
Acting “As-If” Can Propel You Forward
When I was starting out as an opera singer, I took several classes from a guru of stage presence, Dr. Wes Balk. Wes had an acting method called Performing Power.
It’s unlike Method Acting, where the actor or singer aspires to complete emotional identification with the character to bring the part to life.
Instead, Performing Power focuses on perfecting the facial expressions, bodily postures, and physical reactions of the character to cause the audience to feel what is happening in the moment.
In other words, instead of an inside-out method, Performing Power has an outside-in focus. This helps the performer act “as-if.” Acting “as-if” can have the same effect on the audience, and help the performer understand and embody the character just as fully.
Acting “As-If” Demands Optimism
Whether on stage portraying a character or at work assuming a new role, acting “as-if” demands optimism as a foundation to change your behavior.
You can’t move into new ways of being, build trust, or dismiss innate cynicism without believing the change will happen...Or that others have your best interest at heart.
Acting “as-if” with optimism while trying on new behaviors can help you move past roadblocks and limiting beliefs without feeling like you need to completely cast off your inherent nature.
Performing Power Bridges Cynicism To Build Relationships
Several of my current clients have assumed executive roles where cynicism and wariness are essential to their success.
In areas like Information Security, Compliance, Cybersecurity, and Patient Safety, this way of being is critical.
Their finely-tuned abilities to assume the worst, play devil’s advocate, and create worst-case scenarios have served them well in winning their leadership roles.
At the same time, their roles demand that they build strong relationships with colleagues based on trust, transparency, and curiosity. How can they best navigate those seemingly opposite needs?
Performing Power!
What Performing Power Looks Like In Leadership
Here are some helpful tips that have worked for my clients who’ve navigated this process in their leadership roles:
Assume positive intent. Cynicism and wariness keep the business safe from bad actors. However, when building trusting relationships with colleagues, leaders must assume positive intent.
Even if it seems like an interaction may be originating from an unhelpful place, there’s almost always positive intent behind the behavior. The other person has their own interpretation on which they’re acting to help and support colleagues, customers, or patients.
Remain curious. What is it that you don’t know about this situation or about what your colleague is experiencing at this moment? How can you listen deeply to them and ask powerful questions to understand the context and make them feel heard and respected?
Employ optimism. Even when interactions or decisions feel fraught with anxiety and conflict, things work out how they’re going to in the end. Employing optimism and indicating that you believe there is a “best outcome” can help you and others navigate around perceived roadblocks. It helps open the door a bit to another way of thinking about a solution.
Act “as-if”. When your natural skepticism arises, or you’re just feeling cranky and resistant, act “as-if” there is a positive intent and a mutually positive outcome from the interaction.
Employ your Performing Power to drive your facial expressions, reactions, and responses. This will help the other person feel respected and valued while you build the relationship with trust and transparency. Doing so will help you to embody your new character from the outside in, without you feeling like you have to change who you are.
Results From Choosing Optimism As My Go-To Response
Staring at the sign across the way about optimism, I took my own advice and believed there was a positive outcome to the flight delay and missed connection home.
After a few minutes, I received a phone call from the airline informing me that there was a standby option for a late flight that night. I got to the gate and the attendant handed me a new ticket for the last seat on the last flight out for the evening.
I would make it home after all. Employing a bit of optimism helped me to not react in my usual way, getting angry and becoming a bad actor in my own opera.
If you’re at an inflection point and want to build new skills and competencies in your role with optimism or otherwise, I can help. Reach out to schedule a free strategy session with me and I’ll guide you through.