Move Your Conflicts From Personal To Purposeful

Everyone has their own frame of reference for the reality they live. Experiences that shape their beliefs. Thoughts that create their habits. 

Because of that, when conflicts arise, it’s not always easy to maintain an observer’s perspective. Instead, disagreements get personalized. 

In today’s short video, I’ll share how to shift conflicts from personal to purposeful.

Video Transcript 

0:11  

Hi, this is Cory Colton from inflection point Coaching. 

0:15  

Today we're going to talk a little bit about conflict, and how we can move conflict from the personal to the purposeful. 

0:23  

Few of us like conflict, whether at home or at work. Conflict can make us feel uncomfortable. It causes messy emotions and unexpected responses and reactions. 

0:36  

Good conflict is sometimes necessary for us to enable better decisions, more successful outcomes, and to support innovation and transformation. 

0:47  

When colleagues come together to make decisions, set goals, or envision strategy, we bring with us, all of our experiences, all of our perspectives, all of our personality styles, and all of our history. 

1:01  

So when we are discussing important issues we are viewing them through different lenses, and each of our lenses may be different. And they're essential to achieving the best outcome, but we don't always take the time to understand each other's point of view. 

1:18  

When conflict happens we can retreat to our own corners and shut down our curiosity. Conflict may then become adversarial and may be personal, rather than purposeful. To get the process back on track, we need to move conflict from the personal back to the purposeful and concentrate on the best common outcome or solution for all concerned.

1:51  

 Here's some helpful questions to think about when in the middle of conflict. 

1:56  

First, what is our agreed-on common goal or purpose for the discussion? Who will be served if we can solve this issue or approve this process? 

2:10  

Second, how can I assume positive intent when a colleague raises an uncomfortable issue or question? 

2:19  

Third, what is causing my reaction in the moment? 

2:24  

And lastly, what am I curious about in this situation, and what don't I understand? How can I open up to learn more? 

2:35  

Most of us don't like conflict. Those that do like conflict, likely already have jobs as mediators or negotiators, and that's not most of us.

2:45  

Curiosity, assuming good intent, and focusing the discussion on the common best outcome are good places to start for us to move conflict from the personal back to the purposeful. 

3:00  

If you or your team needs some support in leveraging conflict purposefully, don't hesitate to reach out at www.inflectionpointcoaching.net/contact. I'd be happy to have a consultation. Thanks, and have a great day.

Shift Your Conflicts From Personal To On Purpose 

When it comes to constructive conflict, clearly having an awareness of your filters is key. Curiosity lends a hand to make your conflicts purposeful.

For help redirecting conflicting energies and conversations among your team, reach out and schedule a free strategy session with me.